What is a Soulmate, Really?

Soulmates are at the heart of my novel, Lonely Dove. The protagonist, Anji, is in search of her soulmate, and in the process discovers her twin flame.

But, what exactly is a soulmate? Or a twin flame?

Let me start by defining soulmates, the topic of which is vast. I attempted to define this in the book, in a couple of places. In the first one, Margarita, who becomes Anji’s spiritual guide, explains to Anji the following:

“There are many types of soulmates, my dear. Some are romantic and others not. Soulmates are people we have deep connections with.” p 51

To simplify, a soulmate is anyone who comes into our lives, romantic or not, who makes us feel seen and understood. Soulmates help us view ourselves and our lives in a deeper way. They can be a lover or partner, but also a parent, a friend, or a pet. Later on, Sophie, Anji’s best friend says:

“A soulmate is someone you share love and respect with, and someone you can be authentic with, showing all aspects of yourself—even the ones you are not proud of.” p 188

Some soulmates are lifelong; some are temporary and come for small “lessons;” others are from previous lives; and there are even soulmates who do not bring about positive experiences. Sometimes impactful negative experiences are the result of soulmates who push us to expand or evolve in a way we need to but is difficult for us.

Twin flames are a particular type of soulmate, and there is a lot of controversy about them, but in essence, twin flames are two souls who are deeply connected because they see or understand each other in a way that makes them feel that they belong or that they are “home.” In Lonely Dove, Anji herself, tries to explain twin flames to someone. This is what she says:

“When I am with you, every empty space of my soul is complete, like I’ve suddenly found the missing pieces of the puzzle, making me whole. You must think that’s why they say that our romantic partners are our other halves. But that is far from the truth. Our twin flames don’t “complete us.” We are whole and complete on our own. But we feel whole because, when we are with our twin, we are our authentic selves and speak our truth. We recognize our perfection as they recognize their own. We recognize their perfection as they recognize ours. We feel at peace. We belong. We are home.” p 262

As I said, the topic of soulmates and twin flames is vast, but can be explored further by acknowledging how you feel in your heart about the person (or pet) you are considering as your soulmate or twin flame.