Why We Should Feel Our Feels & How Writing Helps

If you are anything like me,

you are adept at pushing away your feelings;

hiding or ignoring them.  That causes problems. Accumulated hurt, sadness, frustration, avoidance, fear causes anxiety, headaches, sleep deprivation, and so many other conditions that there would be no space to list them all. It aggravates existing conditions.

One way to prevent these problems and to heal from them is to allow feelings to rise. Dig through the muck and allow them to surface. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling in the moment.  

Sounds easy, yet I know it is not. It is scary. It’s hard. It can be overwhelming. There is too much to sift through and the burden can seem too hard to bear. But it can be a welcome experience.

Peeling the layers and letting emotions come up is difficult at first, but once the process starts–once it has jumpstarted–it turns into a soothing flow. When we start to let go, the increased clarity and focus makes us feel lighter and freer, making the ongoing process easier and smoother.

One way to allow for this opening is through writing. Writing allows for release, and it can be a private process or a public one. It all depends on the individual. When we write for ourselves, we can say anything without worrying about about being vulnerable. But vulnerability can also be healing, allowing for others to heal alongside us.

I write stream-of-consciousness, where I allow whatever is on my mind to come out on the page. I write non-stop until I fill a certain amount of pages. I find that it allows me to dump the gunk I carry in my head. It brings me clarity. It allows me to express what I am feeling. I write about what I carry and need to unburden. I have imaginary conversations with people on the page that I didn’t have the courage to do in person. I don’t show this to anyone. I don’t even keep the pages.

I also write fiction and poetry, and I lace my writing with emotion. Sometimes I express what I am feeling in the moment. Other times, I invoke feelings from long ago. It’s cathartic. Still others, I express what I see in others. Those are not quite as cathartic, but they do help me elicit empathy and compassion.

In allowing feelings to come through, we give ourselves space to be who we really are. We feel comfortable in our own skin because we are aware of where we stand within ourselves. We get to know ourselves better accept ourselves for who we are. There is nothing more empowering than the certainty of knowing yourself. It leads us to love ourselves. And there is nothing more beautiful than that.