The Box, Chapter 8

The Box is a short story I wrote in 2020. It inspired my second novel, Can You Be.

This is Chapter 8.

St. Philip’s Church, Charleston, SC

Read below or watch/listen to the video at the bottom of the page:

The next day, Naina decided she needed time to herself. She had grown comfortable with her solitude. She didn’t want to wonder about crystals, run into Holy Men, think of questions to ask, or have to answer to anyone. Raiya asking her about work distressed her more than she had previously realized. She didn’t like her work. But she didn’t know what else to do.

Naina had grown up all by herself. It may have been considered a privileged upbringing by many, but rather than the white-gloved nurtured attention of her classmates, Naina felt like a kid who had been dropped off at 160 Calhoun St. It was known as the Charleston Orphan House but the kids weren’t orphans. Back in the day, parents dropped off their kids because they didn’t have money to feed them.

Her father had plenty to feed her, but he had dropped her off anyway. Naina wasn’t an orphan but felt equally unwanted. She never knew why her father shipped her off. He never told her. Her father thought he failed her mother and didn’t want to risk failing again, feeling Naina would be better off in other people’s care. Naina didn’t know this. She felt she was meant to be forgotten.

The Charleston Orphan House had closed in 1951, and the same site was a dormitory for the College of Charleston. Any time Naina happened to walk in front of the building, she felt a sense of relief that she hadn’t had to live in that building. She didn’t know if she could have tolerated that much rejection.

She knew Alice was itching to be rid of her. She hadn’t said so, but Naina could tell. If Alice fired her, she would be lost and she would have to leave her apartment. Although he paid for the rent and utilities, she still needed to cover her other expenses. The thought appalled her. What would she tell her father? She didn’t want to increase the rift between them.

Naina knew the cure for her melancholy was James Bond. She had read every James Bond novel, from the first one by Ian Fleming in 1953 to the most recent one by Anthony Horowitz in 2018. She owned all the James Bond movies, including the Casino Royale spoof from 1967 where a supposed celibate James Bond, played by David Niven, was promoted to the head of MI-6 after a hiatus following the death of his beloved Mata Hari. The new 007 was played by Peter Sellers and Woody Allen played James Bond’s nephew Jimmy Bond.

The only Bond film she hadn’t watched was the first ever film showcasing a Bond character released in 1954. It was the American-made-for-TV version of Casino Royale, but James Bond was an American spy working for the CIA. She refused to watch it on principle.

A James Bond marathon was perfect to distract her. The predictability of the movies soothed her. The “bullseye” covered with blood in the opening credits gave her a sense of safety. She loved that she could mouth along as James Bond got called to see M, flirted with Money Penny, and was shown special gadgets by Q. It gave Naina a sense of comfort like no other.

That day, she didn’t feel the same sense of calm after watching them.

There had been too much going on that shook her to her core. She didn’t like it. And she didn’t know it yet, but that weekend was the last weekend she would spend on her own.

Naina wondered if she could gain more courage from the stone. She glanced at the angelite on the coffee table in front of her more than she cared to admit. Did she have it in her to be as daring as James Bond? She wanted to follow in her mother’s footsteps although not completely. Naina’s mother had stopped practicing as a lawyer after she married. Naina’s parents moved from India to San Francisco, and somewhere along the way, Naina’s mother lost her sense of self. She wasn’t able to practice law. She would have had to repeat her degree in the US and Naina’s father didn’t want his wife to work.

Naina’s mother was overwhelmed by the changes in her life and couldn’t stand being alive. The only precious thing in her life was her daughter. This, however, Naina would never know.

Naina held on to the wisps of memories of her mother. Her father never spoke of her. And he pushed Naina away. The truth was Naina’s father couldn’t deal with the pain of losing his first wife. He felt he had failed her and he didn’t want to fail Naina. He was certain Naina would be better off raised by professionals. He didn’t push her away because he didn’t love her. He pushed her away because he did. Naina would never know this either.

Watch or listen along below: